Resiliency Unraveled

Some folks "assert" that the issue surrounding resiliency is, “what am I going to gain from pretending to find meaning amidst atrocious circumstance?” (and by assert I mean cackle loudly)


This social issue one calls ignorance spreads like wild fire when it pertains to the reverence of resilient behavior; resonating loudly is the sound of the familiar phrasing: “You are not special so you might as well give up…”

The bible tells me to be kind, so I decide to bite my tongue amidst the nagging pain to slap this person silly…

I defy the attraction to spew forth my own hateful ignorance for I am a good Christian woman, nevertheless, I must lead by example.

“Come on, your life is a train wreck …” anonymous states. “Just admit it, there was no meaning in what has happened to you, so why do you continue to believe this (your life) will mean something?”

Part of me was inclined to walk away

(Because what I had to say next was far from sweet), It was time to be honest with myself and to open up a world of humble for this incredibly ignorant individual

Why wait until now to address this issue of ignorance? Because folks, if there was a time to know something about somebody, then you should be aware that NOW there are three things everyone should know and believe about me;

1. I am brutally honest

2. NEVER, NEVER question my reasons to survive

3. IF you ask the question you better be darn ready for the answer

You want to know WHY I continue to believe my life means something beyond what has happened to me?

Because…

I know that there will be days I fail… but it is through those failures I grow…

I do more than endure; I thrive because I need to believe that somehow the things that happened can be turned into something positive…

I believe in myself, I believe that being resilient means I may get laughed at… but if I can manage to stand strong through it all then maybe… I can change a life.

I have held back tears and let them flow when no one was looking because being strong for others

… at that moment…

made the difference between someone crumbling and someone surviving…

I make people see what they are worth because they never knew the truth

That they… could be more than the circumstances they endured…

I make people repeat, “I will get through this…” over and over until they believe …

I have hit my knees in prayer, bloody and alone… determined to fight because I knew I was stronger…

NOW- If I haven’t made it clear then you are not listening with your heart…

I continue to live because I…

BECAUSE I was ready to give up when something… something in my tired and worn body said, “GET UP!”

…so I stood up blow after blow… I stumbled to my feet… I stared death, I stared evil, I stared the unknown in the face and said, “You will NOT define me… you will Not defeat me… I WILL triumph”

I have not met a hurdle I could not overcome yet… so come prepared,

because whether or not I have 5 years or 80 years left on this earth- I live by my terms

and NOT by the terms of circumstance.

Being resilient does not mean you will never hit rock bottom, being resilient does not mean you won’t ever be faced with the thought, “I don’t think I will survive…” being resilient does not mean you won’t ever be alone and afraid… being resilient quite simply means…

You will find a reason to triumph, you will come through a stronger person, you thrive, and you will find purpose… Being graceful is not a requirement for this trait so forgive me if this seemed far from…

Faith, hope, determination… the mind and the heart working together to say to people like you or circumstances unimaginable… “I won’t back down”

Why do I continue to believe? BECAUSE…

I KNOW my life has purpose.

I stand for those who were not strong enough to believe in themselves… I endure for those who believed they could not make it through… I find a reason because perhaps one day, just one day, I can meet someone like you and help them find their will to live…

“How?” you ask?

I don’t know.

Faith, God, inner strength, will, resolve… sure it all plays a part, but without the desire to survive I too will crumble at the feet of evil… and that… is not good enough for me.

To those I love, to those I lost, to those I see falling today… there will always be a hand waiting amidst the fire to fight.

We will emerge.

Sure we will be bruised, frightened, scarred, burned… but we will find a way…

We will keep going until our bodies can no longer withstand because that is the definition of character… courage.

With integrity we will face the unknown … and to all who laugh, sit in disbelief, criticize, and are lost in their pain I say,

“The difference between you and I is you may just ‘get through’ an atrocity… BUT I…I choose to have the courage live my life rather than let it happen to me…. Now here is my question… why haven’t you?”

© L. McQuilkin 2009
 
McQuilkin, L. (2009). Resiliency Unraveled. Tavares, FL