Courage Comes In Many Forms

Courage Comes In Many Forms

January 4, 2010

Anonymous

It is now 2010 and I am deciding to sharpen my courage tool. My first voyage out into this territory was wrought with fear (a completely normal response I assume) however my desire to see what was to be discovered was far more powerful than my own fears. I am an avid martial artist and have had a deep fear of sparring men. I have a fear rooted with a traumatic experience that even planned sparring matches managed to trigger a post traumatic response-- flashbacks. My opponents have no idea why I have this fear but most capitalize on this. This time I told myself, "okay... deep breaths... stay in the moment... fight back"-

It worked somewhat, at least during the sparring match. This is a breakthrough for me, I learned to control the trigger response in order to survive the match. I let my hypervigilence turn into a tool and my anger into drive. I fought a 5'11'' man who by all rights kicked my ass... literally. This time I gave him a dose of what I call "no control", I handed back to him the same pain he dished out times ten. Afterwards, both of us beaten and sore I breathlessly stated, "how does it feel to have someone enjoy your pain? to know that this scared woman is much stronger than you thought...?". Super sore, I limped away.

Right now I sit at my computer nursing some good size bruises the big difference this time is I am not nursing my dignity, emotions, or sanity. Courage comes in all forms but it is not courage if there is not any exercising of self control, indomitable spirit, and desire.

Courage comes in many forms, today it came in the form of a sexual assault survivor overcoming fear.

Until next time...

Anonymous