It has been a while

Muddling through life has not been something I'd like to admit I found myself doing these last few years, yet it is the truth. While working on my doctorate, conducting research... I lost my job twice, faced numerous personal hurdles and have been on the brink of financial ruin. What has really been the most difficult, has been the past year in and of itself.

The questions always loomed in my head: what do I do, how do I fix this mess?

I learned that seeking clear cut answers were silly, I had to focus on the day to day, the short term and build toward focusing on a less tumultuous future. Beyond my ability to control, life became one adverse situation after the next and I had to move forward. Dwelling on the hardships were only perpetuating the debilitating states.

Things are better, though they are not easy. My research is complete, we are grieving difficulties effectively, and hoping for a better future. The best way I can do that ( and do well by my husband and step son) is to move forward and get my dissertation approved.

Interesting fact.

My research is a grounded theory development of a sustainable resilience development theory... Funny how we (as researchers) spend so much time removing ourselves from the data to prevent bias that we forget to apply what we have learned to our own lives.

Funny.